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To-Do List for the Soul: Iyar
According to the Kabbalistic text Sefer Yetzirah,
every month of the Jewish calendar is associated with a letter of the
Hebrew alphabet, a sense (one of the five senses or an emotion), a
controlling limb of the body, a zodiac sign and one of the twelve tribes
of Israel. These associations give us important clues as to how to live in
tune with the spiritual energies of each month, and can help each of us
prepare our own personal to-do list for the soul.
The Hebrew spelling of Iyar (alef-yud-yud-reish) is
an acronym for the phrase: I am God your Healer (Exodus 15:26).
Therefore Iyar is a month for healing - in particular inner healing, since
many of the month's attributes are connected to introspection rather than
looking outwards for help and advice.
In addition, in the Torah Iyar is referred to as the month
of Ziv, which means radiance. Through the healing work of Iyar,
one's inner radiance can more fully manifest in the outside world.
*
Letter:
Vav.
The letter vav serves two purposes in Hebrew
grammar. It is a linking word meaning "and," and when the letter is placed
before a verb it changes past tense into future and vice versa.
When the letter vav is fully spelled out in Hebrew
(vav [6] - alef [1] - vav [6]), its Gematria of 13 equals that of
the word echad (alef [1] - chet [8] - daled [4]), which means
"one." Through this we see that although vav links together
trillions of seconds, billions of thoughts and millions of actions,
ultimately everything goes back to the One Source - God.
To-Do List for the Soul
Using the Present to Change Past and Future
Professor Eugene Heimler, a Holocaust survivor, author and
creator of the Heimler Scale of Social Functioning, noted from his
experiences during World War Two and his work with the unemployed that
there is a strong inter-relationship between past and present. In his own
words:
"I had to conclude that not only had the past influenced
the present, but the satisfactions of the present had also influenced the
way one perceived the past … The question of sanity or insanity therefore
appeared to depend not so much on the fact of injury in the past but
rather on the ability or inability to transform and to use such injury" (Survival
in Society, Heimler Foundation/Cardwell Human Resources, Saskatoon,
Canada, pages 7-8).
In other words, a person may have experienced financial
deprivation in his childhood, but if he succeeds financially later in life
he may view that early adversity as a positive thing - it gave him the
desire and perseverance he needed to succeed. On the other hand, if a
person remains trapped in poverty, she may blame the harsh conditions of
her early years for her current misery.
All of us are carrying something from the past that is
causing us pain today. It may be a painful memory of love that was
rejected, a bad mistake at work or a time when we were humiliated in
public. Since these memories not only weigh us down in the present, but
can also adversely effect how we view the future, Iyar is a good time to
try to heal some of these memories by transforming them into positive
messages.
The first step is to recognize that everything that
happens to us comes from One and the same Source - God. No one can hurt
us, no plan can go wrong, unless God wills it to happen. Since God only
wants what is good for us, it must be that there is a positive lesson to
be learned from even the most painful situation.
To discover the good in the bad, we can use a technique
called "reframing." Reframing recognizes that events are neutral. Events
take on their connotations of "good" or "bad" because of how we evaluate
them, which is usually guided more by emotion than intellect. When we
reframe, we let the intellect have the upper hand by asking ourselves
questions about the event that can help us see the experience in a more
positive light.
1. Think of an event from the past that caused you
emotional pain then and still hurts you today.
2. Now ask yourself some questions:
What was good about this experience? Or, if you truly
can't find anything good about it - why was what happened not so bad?
What character trait can this event help me develop?
Is there something I can learn from this experience that
will help me deal more successfully with others?
Can this experience teach me how to more successfully
handle a
similar situation in the future?
What was humorous about the situation?
How can I use this experience to come closer to God?
Zodiac:
Shor.
(Taurus - the ox)
The ox represents the animal soul of the human being,
which gets tamed and refined during the Counting of the Omer this month
(for more about Counting the Omer see
why is this month different).
In the Torah we read that an ox and a ram were brought as
peace offerings (Leviticus 9:4). Last month we mentioned that the
ram was a symbol of wealth in ancient times. The ox is a symbol of brute
power. Therefore, we learn that our desires for power and great wealth
must be "sacrificed" in order to achieve peace.
Although animal sacrifices seem like a strange way to
serve God today, we can learn something about what they were meant to
accomplish by a look at the Hebrew word for sacrifice - korban.
This word shares the same root as karov - which means to come
close.
The animal used for a sacrifice could neither be stolen
nor be borrowed. It had to belong to the person offering the sacrifice.
From this we see that in order to come close to God we have to give up
something that belongs to us - that animal part of us that always wants
more and doesn’t want anything to get in its way to achieve its goals.
The Hebrew word for peace - shalom - can be
rearranged to spell the word moshal, which is a ruler or governor.
In the Book of Proverbs it is written: "He that is slow to anger is
better than the mighty; and he that rules (moshel) over his
emotions (is better) than he who takes a city" (16:32). Only someone who
can govern her own heart can achieve inner peace and bring peace to
others.
To-Do List for the Soul
Who's the Boss?
1. In this exercise we need to look at whether we rule the
animal soul within us - or whether it rules us. Here are some questions to
contemplate:
Does my desire to succeed make me trample people who get
in my way? How do I respond when someone blocks my path - whether it be
while I am climbing up the career ladder or driving on the highway?
Is there an area in my life where I feel I must "force the
situation" in order to see results? If so, is there something I can do to
get the same results in a more peaceful way?
When I criticize a subordinate at work, a student or a
child do I truly have their good at heart, or is there a part of me that
enjoys seeing another person fail?
Do I habitually manipulate others and force them to do
things my way?
Am I able to admit that I am wrong, or do I force myself
to "stick to my guns," no matter what?
2. On the other hand, too little "animal drive" is also
not a good thing. We are children of God, not doormats, and so we need to
know how to use the animal soul to help us stand up for our rights. Here
are some questions to ask:
Do my emotions force me to behave in ways that I later
regret?
Do I often feel taken advantage of - forced by others to
do things I don't want to do?
Do I allow fear to force me into remaining stuck in
negative behavioral or emotional patterns?
Do I have enough self-discipline to get my work done, or
do I depend on others to force me to complete the tasks?
Do I force myself to "keep up with the Joneses" and
acquire things or opinions that I don't want or need?
Does force of habit make me indifferent and silent when I
am confronted with evil in the world?
3. Have you discovered one thing about your "animal soul"
that you would like to change? What steps can you take today to change
it?
Sense:
Thought.
Thousands of years before modern psychology, Jewish sages
pointed out that there is a deep connection between one's thoughts and
one's ability to be happy. The book Tikunei Zohar, a commentary on
the Kabbalist text The Zohar, points out that the word machshava
(thought) can be rearranged to spell b'simchah - "in joy."
When we are joyful, life is much easier. Work gets done
more quickly, interactions with others go more smoothly, and it's much
easier to sail over minor hassles and setbacks.
Judaism teaches that joy - simcha - can only come
from inside. No one can give you joy and no one can take it away from you.
It is you - your thoughts - that decides whether or not you are going to
be happy. Therefore it pays to get control over your thoughts - to weed
out the negative thoughts that kill joy and nurture those thoughts that
enhance it.
To-Do List for the Soul
Next!
In his book Happiness (Shaar Press, Brooklyn New
York, 1999), Rabbi Zelig Pliskin gives over a simple but powerful
technique for getting the brain out of the rut of negative thinking.
1. When you catch your brain thinking negative thoughts
(worrying, turning minor irritations into mountains, being overly
critical of yourself or others, etc.), gently say to your brain: Next!
2. Allow your brain to skip over to a new scene - perhaps
it will call up a visual image of the ocean, a song you used to sing
when you were young or the face of a loved one. Just make sure you keep
calling out "Next" until your brain calls up an image or sequence of
thoughts that make you happy.
3. It can help to train your brain to respond to "Next"
before you get sucked into the black vortex of negative thinking. You
can do this by calling out "Next" even when your thoughts are neutral or
pleasant. And you don't have to worry about ever running out of new
pleasurable thoughts/images. The brain is infinitely creative - so use
it.
Controlling Limb:
Right
Kidney.
The job of the kidneys is to filter out waste products
from the blood. On a spiritual level, the kidneys filter out negative
influences - whether they are negative messages we have received from
parents and teachers in the past or negative influences that come to us
from our surrounding culture.
According to the Sages of the Talmud, "the right kidney
gives advice." What advice do they give? The word for kidneys in Hebrew is
Batuchot, which shares the same root as the word bitachon -
which means "trust" or "security."
A spiritual goal of Judaism is to develop one's trust in
God - to not only have faith that He is the Source of all good, but to
actively believe that it is He and He alone Who bestows good in our lives.
Although we have to do our part to earn a living, we
always have to keep in mind that our efforts will succeed only if it is
part of God's plan for these efforts to succeed. Trying to force the
situation, excessive worrying or becoming a workaholic won't help us
obtain more than what is coming to us. Therefore it is to our benefit to
filter out those negative influences that make excessive demands, and
listen to the healing advice of the kidneys.
To-Do List for the Soul
Who Do You Trust?
To help develop your trust in God as the One Who bestows
all good in your life, why not print out this short prayer written by
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov and keep it in a spot where you'll be sure to see
it throughout the day.
Dear God,
Save me from wanting what is not mine.
Protect me from my
own jealousy,from desiring the money or the possessions, the position
or the honor that belongs to another. Let me trust in You enough to
believe that what is meant to be mine will come to me. Let me trust in You enough to
be satisfied with all that I have today.
(Likutey Moharan, 1:23, as quoted in
The Gentle Weapon, Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock,
Vermont)
Tribe:
Issachar.
Out of all the twelve tribes, it was the tribe of Issachar
that was known for its scholars - and these scholars became advisors for
all the people.
Since the month of Iyar is a time when we prepare
ourselves to receive the Torah, which happens next month on the holiday of
Shavuot, this is an excellent time to emulate the scholars of Issachar and
commit to learning Torah every day.
To-Do List for the Soul
Give the Torah 30 Minutes, and It Will Give You the World
The description of the giving of the Torah can be found in
the Torah portion of Yisro (Exodus 18:1-20:23). There are many
excellent web sites that offer commentaries on the weekly Torah reading.
All you have to do is search for "Yisro" with your favorite search engine
and you'll find them. If the options seem overwhelming, a good place to
start is
www.torah.org,
which offers insights by a variety of rabbis.
For those who prefer "hard copy," Nobel Laureate S.Y.
Agnon put together a wonderful compilation of commentaries in his book
Present At Sinai: The Giving of the Law (The Jewish Publication
Society Philadelphia, 1994).
If you are already learning the weekly Torah portion,
remember that the 28th of Iyar is the yarzheit of Shmuel HaNavi
(the Prophet Samuel), so how about learning either one or both parts of
his sefer?
The important thing is to make Torah learning a fixed part
of your daily schedule, because as our Sages say (and we say every Friday
night before the Maariv [evening] prayer):
Rabbi Elazar said on behalf of Rabbi Chanina: Torah
scholars increase peace in the world, as it is said: And all your children
will be students of God and your children will have abundant peace - do
not read 'your children,' but 'your builders.' There is abundant peace for
the lovers of Your Torah, and there is no stumbling block for them.
May there be peace within your wall, serenity within your
palaces. For the sake of my brethren and my comrades, I shall speak of
peace in your midst. For the sake of the House of God, our Lord, I will
request good for you.
God will give might to His nation, God will bless His
nation with peace. - Talmud, Berachos, 64a.
* Please note that the exercises mentioned above should
not be construed as medical, psychological or professional advice,
and the author is not responsible for consequences that may result from
using these exercises.
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