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To-Do List for the Soul: Av
According to the Kabbalistic text Sefer Yetzirah,
every month of the Jewish calendar is associated with a letter of
the Hebrew alphabet, a sense (one of the five senses or an
emotion), a controlling limb of the body, a zodiac sign and
one of the twelve tribes of Israel. These associations give us
important clues as to how to live in tune with the spiritual energies of
each month, and can help each of us prepare our own personal to-do list
for the soul.
Av is the fifth month of the Jewish year and it is the
month when we mourn the destruction of both the First and Second Temples.
Much more than mere palaces of stone and marble, the Temples were the
"Dwelling Place below for the Divine Presence." When the Temples were
destroyed the Divine Presence went into exile, along with the Jewish
People. The first exile lasted only 70 years, but the second exile
continues until this very day.
According to our Sages, the Second Temple was destroyed
because of "causeless hatred" (sinat chinam). At first glance it
seems to be an odd term. When we hate someone, we usually can provide
ample reason for our hatred.
And yet, if we were to push aside our emotions for a few
moments and really examine these reasons with our power of logic, in most
instances we would discover that there really is no reason for hatred.
Perhaps we disagree with the other person's opinions or lifestyle, perhaps
he has some irritating mannerisms or habits, perhaps she is not as helpful
or generous or patient as we would like her to be - but none of these are
a reason to hate another person.
It is bad enough to have hatred in our hearts, but when we
speak disparagingly of someone to another person we do even more damage.
First, we do damage to ourselves because when we become used to finding
fault with others we become more and more dissatisfied with our own lives.
Second, we do damage to the person we are speaking about. He will become
less respected in the community and our words might cause him great
emotional pain or financial loss. Third, we damage the person who listens
to our words. Whereas before the listener might have seen good in the
other person, this good has now been replaced by negativity.
Finally, when we find fault with another person - who is,
after all, a creation of God - we are also finding fault with God's
creation. And the more faults we find, the further away we become from our
Creator.
As long as causeless hatred and negative speech exist, it
is no wonder that the Temple has not been rebuilt. The main spiritual work
of Av, therefore, is to rid ourselves of causeless hatred - and through
our efforts may we merit to see the speedy end to our exile and the
rebuilding of the Temple.*
Letter: Tet.
Tet is the ninth letter of the Hebrew alphabet and its
form closely resembles a vessel with an inverted rim. In Kabbalah, tet
is associated with the ninth of the ten sefirot - yesod
("Foundation"), which is the sefira that corresponds to peace.
Our Sages teach us that "The Holy One, Blessed be He,
found no vessel that could hold blessing other than peace," and so Av is
therefore a good time to try to bring peace to the world.
To-Do List for the Soul
Become a Vessel for Peace
Is there someone you know who really gets on your nerves -
perhaps a spouse or a neighbor or a colleague at work? When that person
does something to annoy you, do you become a vessel for anger or
resentment or irritation? If so, the next time an annoying incident
happens, switch gears. Instead of becoming a vessel for strife, become a
vessel for peace.
The way to do this is simple. Instead of filling your head
and your heart with negative thoughts and emotions, concentrate on one
thing only: think of something nice you can do for that person - and then
do it.
When we occupy our time with thinking of how we can help
others, we forget to hate people - which, of course, helps to bring peace
to world.
Sense :
Hearing
Tribe:
Shimon.
Zodiac:
Aryeh (Leo - the Lion)
In Hebrew, the word "to hear" means "to understand"
- to understand both in one's mind and one's heart. The name Shimon
comes from the same root word as "to hear." The month of Av, therefore, is
characterized by rectifying the sense of hearing.
Although other cultures might disagree, Judaism considers
hateful words to be one of the most powerful and dangerous weapons known
to mankind. Gossip and slander can destroy marriages, friendships and
careers, as well as create enmity between different religious and racial
groups. And once the harmful words are "out there" their destructive power
can't be controlled.
If people realized that gossip is even more harmful to the
"public health" than smoking, they would ban it from all public places.
And it's not just the speaker who is affected because listening to gossip
is like inhaling second-hand smoke.
Although it is unlikely that restaurants and offices will
start designating certain areas as gossip-free zones, we can do something
about it privately by taking a tip from the lion.
The lion is both a symbol of regal power and a symbol of
ferocious destruction. According to the Kli Yakar (Rabbi Shlomo
Efraim of Prague, a 16th century commentator on the Torah), the
Temple - the ultimate symbol of regal power - was destroyed because each
Jew crouched like a lion, ready to devour his neighbor.
When we become "king" over our ears and refrain from
listening to harmful speech about others, we bring the rebuilding of the
Temple one step closer.
To-Do List for the Soul
No Gossip Zone
The next time someone begins to share a piece of gossip
with you, try one of the following three tactics:
1. Quickly change the subject.
2.Say you're late for an appointment and then
run.
3. Explain that your new hearing aide is on the
blink so the person will have to shout if they want you to hear them
(hopefully the person will be too embarrassed to continue).
Controlling Limb:
Left Kidney.
The function of the kidneys is to process fluids and waste
matter and pass them on to the right destination - what is good and usable
is recycled back into the body and what is non-essential is eliminated.
The Maharsha (Rabbi Shmuel Eliezer Eidels, a 16th century
commentator on the Talmud) comments that the pair of kidneys symbolizes
our power of free will, our ability to distinguish right from wrong. The
left kidney gives us advice on how to properly hear and integrate truth
into our consciousness - and in the process eliminate falsehood.
Every day our ears are bombarded by a barrage of
information about others, much of which is negative. How do we know if
what we are hearing is true?
In most instances we don't know. Therefore, if we are
unwilling or unable to fully investigate the bad report, it is often best
to simply eliminate the information from our system and reserve judgement
until we are in a position to uncover the truth.
To-Do List for the Soul
Give Others the Benefit of the Doubt
Feuds within the family, the workplace or the community
are often started because one person feels that someone else isn't pulling
his weight. For instance it is not uncommon for siblings who have elderly
parents to complain that one of the siblings isn't doing enough.
However, when Sibling A starts complaining to C and D and
sets them against Sibling B, not only is the problem not solved, but the
family now has a bad case of causeless hatred on its hands.
There can be many reasons why a person isn't giving or
doing as much as you think she should. Therefore, the next time you find
yourself wanting to criticize someone, grab a pen and give him or her the
benefit of the doubt.
Part One
1. Make a list of at least five things the person
is doing to help out.
2.
Make a list of at least five reasons why that person might not be able
to do more.
Part Two
1. Make a list of at least five things you are doing to
help out.
2. Make a list of at least five reasons why you are not
able to do more.
Hopefully this exercise will help you realize two things.
First, that the person is in fact doing something and second, that we are
all human and have our limits. Since not everyone has the same levels of
stamina or money or capabilities, what's important is not that everyone is
giving the same but that everyone is giving what they can.
* Please note
that the exercises mentioned above should not be construed as
medical, psychological, or professional advice, and the author is not
responsible for consequences that may result from using these exercises.
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